You might have heard about a particularly terrible boxing match that is taking place soon, because the Earth has apparently become a hellscape where nothing good ever happens anymore. The match I’m talking about has a doozy of a card: In one corner, we’ve got Soulja Boy, the rapper who burst onto the scene almost 10 years ago with his hit “Crank That.”
In the other corner, we’ve got Chris Brown, the singer who was fun to listen to until he punched his then-girlfriend Rihanna and then choked her out until she was unconscious in a Lamborghini on the side of the road in 2009. He later pleaded guilty.
These two are fighting each other because — oh, wait, sorry, before I tell you why, there’s something else. You know who’s going to be training Soulja Boy before he steps into the ring? Floyd Mayweather. He’s promoting the fight, too. You know what Floyd Mayweather is famous for, besides boxing? Beating women. Mayweather has pleaded guilty to several charges brought against him since 2002, and went to prison for 90 days for hitting his ex-girlfriend in front of their kids in 2010.
So anyway, these guys are all — ugh, sorry to keep interrupting this story, but there’s one more thing I have to tell you: Chris Brown has a trainer, too. You know who his trainer is? Mike Tyson. Do you remember when Mike Tyson was convicted of rape?
No comments: